Attachment-Based Couples Therapy in Pasadena

You love each other, and it’s still hard. Every relationship faces moments of disconnection. What matters is how you find your way back to one another.

Is Couples Therapy Right for You?

Many couples seek therapy when they notice patterns like:

  • Recurring arguments that never resolve
  • One partner withdrawing while the other pursues
  • Loss of emotional or physical intimacy
  • Feeling more like co-managers or roommates than lovers
  • Communication breakdowns and trust issues
  • Old wounds resurfacing in present-day interactions

Often, these issues stem from what we call a “negative cycle,” a pattern where each person’s attempt to connect or protect ends up pushing the other away. These cycles can be painful and confusing, especially when you both long for closeness but keep missing each other.

You might be thinking:

“Why does this keep happening?”

“I don’t feel heard.”

“Nothing I say seems to land.”

“We’re so far apart… how do we get back?”

Couples therapy can help you understand these patterns not just at a surface level, but through the emotional needs and attachment bonds underneath.

My Approach: Emotionally-Focused Therapy

My approach with couples is rooted in my training in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), a deeply attuned, research-backed model based on attachment theory. EFT helps couples identify and change the negative patterns that keep them stuck, and rebuild secure emotional bonds.

Together, we’ll work to:

  • Slow down reactivity and understand emotional patterns
  • Explore the needs and fears underneath conflict
  • Create a safer emotional environment for connection
  • Support trust, closeness, and intimacy to grow again

EFT isn’t about blaming or fixing your partner. It’s about learning how to reach for each other in new, more vulnerable ways and discovering what’s possible when both of you feel seen, heard, and emotionally safe.

My practice is LGBTQIA+ affirming and kink- and sex-positive. I do my best to approach relational work without monolithic assumptions about gender, orientation, structure, or sexual expression. Together, we define the language that fits you and explore the underlying attachment patterns, emotional needs, and relational dynamics that impact your bond.

Repairing Attachment Injuries

Sometimes couples come to therapy after major ruptures, including infidelity, deep betrayals, or years of emotional distance. These moments often create attachment injuries, times when it feels like the identity of the relationship changes, or where one partner needed the other and felt abandoned, unseen, or hurt.

In therapy, we’ll work to:

  • Name the hurt that still lingers
  • Rebuild trust and emotional safety
  • Create space for honest conversations and repair

Healing is possible. Even deep wounds can become turning points for deeper connection when partners are able to show up with honesty, care, and courage.

Holding Space for Clarity Together or Apart

Not all couples enter therapy to “save” the relationship. Sometimes, you come to ask:

Is this the right relationship for me?

Do we have a future together?

I support couples in discernment, exploring whether to stay, to separate, or to rebuild with intention. Therapy can be a space for clarity, not pressure.

If you do choose to continue together, this work can lay the foundation for something stronger, more secure, and more connected than before.

Ready to Reconnect?

You don’t have to stay stuck in the same patterns. Couples therapy can help you understand each other more deeply and reconnect in ways that feel safe, loving, and real.

Schedule a free 15-minute introductory call to see if we’re a good fit. I’d be honored to support you both.

Frequently Asked Questions – Couples Therapy

Not at all. Therapy can be just as helpful for deepening your connection, improving communication, or navigating life transitions. Many couples come in proactively to strengthen their relationship before issues grow larger.

No. My role isn’t to judge or decide who’s “right” — it’s to help you both feel heard, understood, and connected. I hold space for each of you with compassion and neutrality.

That’s common! I’m happy to speak with you both in a free intro call, where I can answer questions and help reduce any uncertainty. Often, once partners experience how supportive the process can be, they feel more open to it.

It varies. Some couples come for a few months to address a specific issue, while others stay longer for deeper healing. I recommend that all couples expect to stay with the process for at least 6-12 months. Couples that have high conflict, trauma backgrounds, or past experiences with intimate partner violence may expect a longer therapy process. With EFT, you can expect a clear process that focuses on emotional safety and lasting change.

Absolutely. I have lived experience as a queer person, and I work affirmingly with clients of all identities, orientations, and relationship structures, including those practicing ethical non-monogamy or polyamory. My approach is nonjudgmental, inclusive, and focused on helping each partner feel safe, seen, and respected — whatever your relationship configuration.

Absolutely. Whether you’re navigating boundaries, jealousy, communication across multiple partnerships, or simply want to strengthen your relational foundation, therapy can be a valuable space to support your growth. I bring knowledge, curiosity, and care to this work.

Yes. Therapy can be a space to explore where you are in your relationship, whether you’re working toward reconnection, separation, or clarity. I’ll support you in exploring the decision that feels most aligned for each of you.

If there is current or ongoing violence, couples therapy is not recommended and may be unsafe. Therapy relies on emotional vulnerability and shared risk, which cannot happen safely when one partner is being harmed or controlled by the other.

If you’re in a relationship where abuse, threats, or physical harm are happening now, please know you are not alone, and support is available. A safer first step may be individual therapy or accessing community resources.

If there is a history of violence that is no longer ongoing, I may be able to support you, and we will carefully assess whether couples therapy is an appropriate and safe option.